Subject: Self Introduction
Dear Prof. Brad Blackstone,
My name is Calvin Lang and I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in media and communication technology engineering. My interests for engineering came to a start during my days in secondary school. I took up the subject of design and technology for my 'O' levels, which made me realize how fun it was to design and create products to make life easier Thus, I decided to take up engineering in polytechnic.
My name is Calvin Lang and I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in media and communication technology engineering. My interests for engineering came to a start during my days in secondary school. I took up the subject of design and technology for my 'O' levels, which made me realize how fun it was to design and create products to make life easier Thus, I decided to take up engineering in polytechnic.
My strength in communication is giving and accepting feedback. I tend to exchange feedbacks with others. As I truly believe that for one to grow, one must know their mistakes. Which they will be able to learn from it and do better. Although sometimes the feedback may be quite negative, it will tells what are your mistakes or lacking thereof. However, not everyone can handle the negative feedback given as some may feel insulted.
My weakness in communication is the lack of confidence in presentation. A presenter should be confident,
with minimum body movement and able to pronounce words clearly for others to
hear. I tend to stutter quite a lot during presentation and it affected the way i pronounce my words properly.
My goals for effective communication will be to be able to
improve in my presentation skills as well as learning the correct way of
writing a proper email or letter. Improving my presentation skills which in turn would help me in my future working environment. Learning the correct way of writing
a proper email or letter will benefit me in the future.
I look forward for your guidance on communication lessons in order to improve myself.
Best regards,
Calvin
Commented on Angelina, CF & Jia Jie
Calvin
Commented on Angelina, CF & Jia Jie
Thanks for making your post already, Calvin. I'll respond to it once your peers have had a chance to do so.
ReplyDeleteOn another issue, i wonder if you would consider changing the color of your wallpaper. Black and white makes reading difficult.
Hi Calvin, overall, the flow of the letter was really smooth and there were explanations to justify your points. I liked that you added in some of your personal opinions/experiences as well. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHello Angelina, Thanks for your feedback !
Deletegood day calvin lang zi hui tou,
ReplyDeleteGood job in writing this introduction about yourself, i feel that the content in your writing is good as it covers all the points that are needed and the language is good. However i spotted a minor mistake in your second paragraph, the second last sentence "what are you wrong". Other than that i find it is a great write up! GOOD JOB
Good day to you too! Thanks for giving feedback and I will make amendments to it!
DeleteNice content. Like the part where you are exchanging feedback with the others and accepting it. Hope to see your slowly changing in terms of presentation skill. Not only in effective communication but in other modules too!
ReplyDeleteHello Mikaela, Thanks for commenting and hope you can too achieve your goal!
DeleteDear Calvin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this informative letter. You've followed the model presented in class and produced a letter that addresses the task requirements with quite a bit of detail and fairly good clarity. I really appreciate your explanation of the genesis of your interest in engineering and the scope of your comm skills strengths and weaknesses.
In terms of goals, you mention the aim of imoproving your writing, which includes language use. In that regard, you need to review the following:
1. verb use
-- My strength in communication will be giving and accepting feedback. > (tense) My strength in communication is giving and accepting feedback.
-- As I truly believed > (past?)
-- -- not many is able > (subjecvt-verb disagreement)
-- My weakness in communication will be > (future?)
-- when i am giving a presentation to a crowd and sometimes it affected the way i pronounce my words properly. > (problem with capitalization -- sloppiness --- and verb tense)
-- will help me getting > will help me get
2. sentence structure
-- As I took up the subject of design and technology for my 'O' levels which made me realize how fun it was to design and create product to make life easier. > (sentence fragment + lack of punctuation)
I took up the subject of design and technology for my 'O' levels, which made me realize how fun it was to design and create products to make life easier.
-- As I truly believed that for one to grow, one must first know their mistakes so they can learn from it and do better. > (sentence fragment + overuse of punctuation)
-- To improve in my presentation skills which will help me in my future working environment. > (sentence fragment)
3. phrasing/word use
-- it will tell you > (Avoid the use of 'you' since that is conversational English.)
-- what are your mistakes or lacking of > what the mistakes or lack thereof
-- presentation skills and as well as learning > (use of conjunction)
-- will help me getting a job easier > (huh?)
-- looking forward for > (incorrect collocation)
Don't let my detailed feedback overshadow what you've done well in this letter in terms of content and organization. Just recognize that there is much we can achieve in terms of you achieving more accurate writing.
Cheers,
Brad
thanks Prof Brad!
Delete